A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls […]

A man went to see his doctor.
“You need to stop masturbating,” the doctor said.
The man asked, “Why?”
The doctor replied, “Because I”m trying to examine you!”

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn’t want anything special. When they asked if […]

A boy told his mom, “I couldn’t sleep last night so I went into your room. Why were you jumping up and down on daddy?”
His mom said, “Well dear, I was pushing the air out of him.”
The boy replied, “Oh then you’re wasting your time. The lady next door blows him back up every day.”

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”
The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself […]

A bear goes to the drugstore:
- 50 condoms, please.
Two rabbits, standing in line behind him, were laughing their asses off. The bear sees them, turns around angry to the pharmacist and says:
- 52!

A couple, husband and wife, had a bad dog. So one day they decide to get rid of it. The husband gets into the car, drives a few blocks and then leaves the dog there. He comes back home and after a couple of hours surprise, the dog is at the door.
The second day the […]

John and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day, when they were walking around near the hospital’s pool, John suddenly jumped into the water, swam to the bottom and stayed there. Mary quickly jumped to his rescue. Hearing about this heroic act, the chief nurse ordered that Mary was let go from […]

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”

Please note that Banks are installing new “Drive-through” teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
MALE PROCEDURE
* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.
* 2 Put down your car window.
* 3 Insert card into machine […]